Words for Women to Live By

1. Aspire to be Barbie – the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits – buy them in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt… A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? – Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I’m on it and so far I’ve lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down – just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.

8. I know I’m in my own little world, but it’s ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don’t get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons – turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

12. Remember where ever there is a good looking; sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!

13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.

14. If it has Tires or Testicles it’s gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she’s wrong.

Living in my head is often fun

So Fred Flintsone drove a car made out of stone.

It had stone wheels and a stone frame

flintstones

he used he feet to drive and often had a lot of people in the car

in this picture is Fred, Wilma, Barney, Betty Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm (poor Dino, has to run along side the car, although they did let him in during movies and put Pebbles on his head)

HOW FUCKING STRONG WAS FRED I mean really It’s a car made out of stone and he had four adults and 2 babies in the damn car. It’s made of stone.

He made it move by his feet.

That’s some strong feet and leg muscles he had going on there.

Things I think about in the shower

If I use handsoap on other body parts, do they still get clean

If I see the moon here and it’s the same moon in California, can we send messages on it to each other

Does Zooey Deschanel get jealous that her sister Emily got a normal name?

What exactly is my sister doing downstairs?  What is that banging and why can I hear it

What’s that burning smell?

I love my kids.

I always forget to turn the fan on when I shower

but that’s not why I’m here today.

Someone sat on my bed the other day.  That’s not a big deal, you go into a bedroom, you sit on a bed, it’s odd when you are in someone elses house, but if you are friends or family, it’s not a big deal.  You might only sit on a tiny little corner of the bed, but you still sit on a bed.

But that’s not why I’m here today

Someone sat on my bed…while I was in it.  It was sometime between 2 -3 am.  I felt the mattress go down, like someone was sitting and staring at me.   But I kept my eyes closed and carefully reached for the bat I keep next to my bed.  Then the person got up and no one was there

I may have been sleeping when this happened but I don’t think I was.  Maybe, I’m not sure but it was strange

kthanxbi

***edit*** I have an electric toothbrush, but sometimes I forget it’s electric and don’t turn it on when I am brushing my teeth.