Living in my head is often fun

So Fred Flintsone drove a car made out of stone.

It had stone wheels and a stone frame

flintstones

he used he feet to drive and often had a lot of people in the car

in this picture is Fred, Wilma, Barney, Betty Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm (poor Dino, has to run along side the car, although they did let him in during movies and put Pebbles on his head)

HOW FUCKING STRONG WAS FRED I mean really It’s a car made out of stone and he had four adults and 2 babies in the damn car. It’s made of stone.

He made it move by his feet.

That’s some strong feet and leg muscles he had going on there.

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Did you ever…

…Blow you nose and something big came out and when you go to look in the tissue there’s nothing there and you thing¬† oh well – then a little while later you look in the mirror and see a big honkin piece of snot on your shirt and freak that other people saw you walking around with snot on your shirt.

…feel a piece of your hair on your face and freak out that maybe you are growing hair from strange body parts that shouldn’t have hair growing from them – like your eye or mouth, only to realize you’re just shedding and feel better that you aren’t growing hair from strange body parts, then realize – HOLY CRAP, YOU ARE SHEDDING

… run around with a fun little girl or boy and realize they have to pee so you take them to pee and when they are done they decide THEY MUST HUG YOU RIGHT NOW with pants around the ankle and then they fart on you and it’s smelly and you’re eyes cross and you pretend faint then the little girl or boy laughs and laughs and laughs but refuses to pull up his or her pants and then insists on running thorough the house naked. (really cute tiny butt)

Things I think about in the shower

If I use handsoap on other body parts, do they still get clean

If I see the moon here and it’s the same moon in California, can we send messages on it to each other

Does Zooey Deschanel get jealous that her sister Emily got a normal name?

What exactly is my sister doing downstairs?  What is that banging and why can I hear it

What’s that burning smell?

I love my kids.