A warning to women everywhere

I know a lot of people are kinda upset right now. I think you should
take a minute to read this:

WARNING TO WOMEN
You’ve heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys
removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went
to sleep and woke up with someone else’s thighs. It was just that quick.
The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were
these and what happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and
angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the
thieves struck again.

My bum was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to
match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier.
But my new bum was attached at least three inches lower than my
original! I realized I’d have to give up my jeans in favour of long
skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was
drying my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing
to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting
scary – my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could
they do to me next?
When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey
neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world wake up and smell
the coffee! Those ‘plastic’ surgeons are using REAL replacement body
parts … stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has
something ‘replaced’, look again – was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my boobs. I was lying in
bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to
see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep
them hidden in my waistband.
I thought this was too ‘important’ not to pass on.

These same thieves came in my closet and shrank my clothes!
How do they do it????

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “A warning to women everywhere

  1. It’s the same people that put drugs in my applesauce and control the traffic lights with their cell phones. I put tinfoil over all my windows so they can’t find me.

Comments are closed.