another lazy post get over it

Stolen from Poppy

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you lay in a bed with?
I don’t know, isn’t that sad…any volunteers

2. Where was the last place you went out to eat?
Outback

3. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?
Beer –  much beer – last night

4. Which do you prefer – eyes or lips?
both

5. Medicine, fine arts, or law?
What?  Medicine because I believe in Excedrin,   fine arts, because I like art, law I guess because I am going to be a paralegal.

6. Best kind of pizza?
I don’t like pizza

7. Is your bedroom window open?
sometimes

8. What is in store for your future?
Eternal happiness, I hope.      (I like this answer)

9. Who was the last band you saw live?
Fall –Out Boy,   Plain White T’s.

10. Do you take care of your friends while they are sick?
If they need me to

11. What is your favorite soda?
Pespi – diet, cherry

12. How many songs are on your iTunes?
I just cleaned out my laptop  – on my i-pod –  A LOT

13. When was the last time you purchased something over 100 dollars?
When did I get my laptop?

14. Where is the last place you drove to?
Movies.

15. Are you experienced?
At some things.  (again I like this answer)

16. Any historical figures that you envy?
No

17. What brand of digital camera do you own?
Something with an s, maybe?

18. When was the last time you got a good workout?
Yeah, at the gym – before I hurt my arm

19. If you need a new pair of jeans, which store do you go to first?
I have no idea

20. Where did your last kiss take place?
My friend came over – I kissed her on the cheek to say hello

21. What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night?
SLEEPING.

22. Are you a quitter?
Depends what it is I’m potentially quitting. (once again stealing Poppy’s answer)

23. Who was the last person you had in your house?
My friend who came to get some of her stuff

24. Can you speak another language?
I barely speak english

25. How about you put your legs behind your head?
Use to be able to

26. When was the last time you went dancing while under the influence?
Last night

27. Nickname?
Sparky but only on Poppy’s blog

28. Describe what you are wearing in detail.
Glasses, robe, undies, socks

29. What do you think about people who party a lot?
As long as I don’t have to pick up their slack at work, I don’t care.

30. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Nope, unless it’s my parents, or siblings…just don’t want to know (and bro, if you read this –no comment)

31. Are you one of those people who obsesses over Hollister?
I have no idea who or what that is

32. What was the last CD you purchased?
Plain White T’s       big bad world

33. What are two bands or singers that you will always love?
BNL –  Duran Duran

34. Which of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of?
At the moment –  or in general –  depends on the time and place

35. Did you just have to Google the seven deadly sins to see what they were?
No

36. Where is your favorite place to get coffee?
I don’t drink coffee

37. Have you ever been offered a job?
Yep …

38. Have you ever stolen anything off a road?
yep.

39. When was the last time you dyed your hair?
Sept 2…I need to get it done again

40. Whom was the last person you rode in a car with?
2 friends

41. Have you kissed somebody in the last 2 weeks?
Not that I wasn’t related to, or saying hello    again – any volunteers

42. Miss someone?
yep

43. How is your last ex doing?
Don’t know or care – there’s a reason he’s an ex.

44. Is there someone you want to fight?
Not at this moment

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A lazy post but no bullets

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive…. so, I took her to a gas station….. and then the fight started….

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.  Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.  I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.  And that’s when the fight started.

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.  The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.  I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.  I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.  So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.  She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’  And then the fight started…..

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.  My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’   ‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’  ‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’  And then the fight started…..

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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
his car.  You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a DWARF!!!  He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’  So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’
And that’s how the fight started…..

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.  ‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.’  He said, ‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’  ‘Nah, she can order for herself.’
And that’s how the fight started…..