I’ve got a secret

I love comic books (that’s not the secret)  not to the point that I go out and buy them and read them religiously, but I can hold my own with a 10 year old boy (I’m a geek)

But  I LOVE SUPERHEROS    love love love

Spiderman,  Fantastic 4, X-Men (my personal fave) Daredevil (the comic, not the movie)

Marvel is Awesome.

DC Comics,  not so much.   I don’t get it.

Spiderman –  good costume,  covers his face.  It’s a good secret identity.  Ok, the fact that Peter Parker is the only person able to get pictures of him is a little “odd” but overall, it’s a possible premise.

X men –   they don’t hide who they are.  They are mutants and pround of it.   The come, they kick ass, they leave.   And Wolverine is sexy (even in the comic and cartoon, but really, the movie, Hugh Jackman)

Daredevil.   Seriously, best secret idenity ever.  His face is mostly covered but Matt Murdock IS BLIND  No one is gonna think it’s him (except for those that do, shut up)

Now for DC

Batman-   dude, you don’t even have superpowers,   you’re an angry uberrich nutjob with gadgets.   Get over yourself.   And your costume,  please,  your have a disctictive chin and voice.   You just ain’t it.

Superman.  OK, probably the coolest superhero ever, but seriously,  glasses are your secret.    On Lois & Clark, the TV show with Teri Hatcher and Dean Cain, there was an episode that Lane Davies came from the future to kill superman and called Lois Lane galactically stupid   he then proceeded to put on and take of glasses.  It was the funniest thing on that show EVER .  Really .  Is everyone in Metropolis stupid.   And they work for a major newspaper as invesigative reporters.   WTF

Wonder Woman    see above re: disguse   GLASSES  No     and a truth lasso.  No  and your bullet wristbands,  shoot her in the back dudes.    (this does not mean in any way that I don’t love Wonder Woman.   I do and if they ever make the movie I will see it)

So what does this have to do with my secret.   Well,  I also have a secret idenity.   I disguise myself as a strange, red-headed jewish girl from NY.   And the glasses, not even without them would you know my alter ego, my disguise is that good.

I use my secret when I need to hide, when I need downtime from the paparazzi and the demands of being a superstar.

But I can’t do it anymore.   I can’t go on with this charade.  I am missing my superstar life and my money and not having to work (although I do because I love the adulation)

So next time you see Angelina, just remember, it’s only me in my real body.   But don’t look for the strange little jewish girl.  You’ll never see us together.

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