An email from last week

So, last week I had some issues with some acid reflux and it lead to this.  Enjoy.

Me:    Did I mention my tounge is black       that’s probably not good right.   It brushed off when I brushed my teeth – but since I gag, I couldn’t get it all.

J:   I would assume that’s bad

Me: Yeah, that’s what I thought

J:    Maybe you have the plague

Me:    Due to lack of rat contact I am gonna have to say no

J:  It was the fleas on rats.  Don’t need rats for fleas

Me:  Do need animals though –  and the closest I’ve been to animals are yours so if I have the plague, so do you _And no, I don’t go out enough to get fleas from anywhere else

J:   My cats don’t have fleas.  And I’m not the one with the black tongue

Me:  Shut up scabies girl

J:  Not scabies.  Chronic dermatitis

Me:  That’s what you say

J:  That’s what the biopsy said.  And any rash, I blame on you anyway, bubble girl

Me:  Hey-    I only have chronic sinusitis, a pinched nerve (maybe) eczema and acid reflux (maybe) with a black tounge _That is necessarily bubble girl life. _(I’d stick my tougne out at you but it’s all black and gross.   But not really in the front, where I could brush w/out throwing up)

J:   You are bubble girl.  And the sooner you face it the easier it will be to embrace.  You could be an inspiration to bubble girls everywhere

Me:  Not everyone can travel in a bubble

J:  And you do it in style.  See what I mean?   You’re an inspiration

Me:  I could be Pop U Lar

J:  That’s right.  Help the less fortuante.  Less face it, who isn’t less fortunate than you.

Me:  It’s my duty to be so wonderful, wonderful that’s me (yes I did a character change, but I forgot the next line)

J:    It’s familiar but I can’t place it

Me:  I quit.

J:  Then you would be following the crowd.  Why don’t you be original and stay

Me:  No,  I think quitting is the best     of course when I quit they would continue to pay me but really I was just quitting the song game because my head hurts –    (that’s the chronic sinusitis)

J:  Bubble girl

Me: I blame the weather.    And I would be allergic to the material of the bubble because, well, I’m me.

J:  I’m sure other bubble people have expressed the same concerns seeing as how they too are allergic to everything. _Most of them however, can spell bologna

Me:  I can spell pasta and that’s more important since I don’t eat bolongna (I sang it as I typed it)

J:  And still spelled it wrong.  *sigh*

Me:  That’s because I sing it wrong

J:  Shocker

Me:  I sing & type.  Incorrectly but it’s still a talent

J: I’ll sign you up for stupid human tricks on Letterman

Me: I don’t think it’s stupid human tricks as much as stupid human

J: As long as you said it

Me:  I admit it

J:  And that’s the first step to recovery

Me: But is it the first step to spelling

J:  The first step to spelling is learning the oscar mayer song

Me: I know the oscar meyer song, I just can’t spell the b word

J:   If you knew the song, you’d be able to spell bologna AND mayer

Me:  Actually the Mayer was a typo –   that I can spell and have correctly at all other times – it’s the b word I have issues with

J:  So then if I ever want to beat you in a spelling bee, I’d better hope the final word is the b word

Me: Lamest spelling bee ever _There’s lots of words I can’t spell –  b word is only the beginning. _I can spell supercalafracalisticexpealadocious – who would know if I was wrong

J:  Because somewhere there’s an accepted spelling of it.

Me:  Doesn’t mary poppins spell it in the song.   Or maybe I’m imaging it.

J:  I don’t think so – in fact I’m pretty sure she doesn’t
Me: Yeah – don’t really care enough to find out either.

J:  ok

Me:  You know this is going up right       it’s very random

J:  From black tongue to bologna?  I can follow that

Me:  From black tounge to bologna (yippe, only two tries) to supercalafraca(whatever)

J:  Hee.
I can’t keep my eyes open
Me:  Want toothpicks

J:  No.  They’ll only break from the weight and poke my eyes out.  Then I wouldn’t be able to watch bsg and oggle jamie bamber in all his lost-the-prosthetic-fat-suit hotness

Me:  That would be bad – gross and just a big giant ick factor – thanks for the eye visual – you know how I love them   gonna go vomit now.     I go to the doctor in 10 minutes.

J:  Yay.   Bring me back a sammich b*tch

(I then went to the doctor, which is another story all together, just leave it that I need to find a new doctor)

Me:  Are you going for food?

J:  Eventually

Me:  Do you know where you are going?    Can you bring me a sammich bitch

J:  Probably just across the street  if you wanna go for a ride again

Me: I can’t really leave but can you get me a two cheese hero (no swiss) with lettuce, oil/vinagar and salt.

J:  k

This concludes last week random emailing.

Hope you enjoy.  Any questions,  ask your travel director.

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5 thoughts on “An email from last week

  1. Do all the bubble people get together and play their own version of bumper cars?

    “…supercalafracalisticexpealadocious…”

    Good effort. Think there’s a couple of a’s where there should be i’s and you’re missing a G.

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