So, last week I had some issues with some acid reflux and it lead to this. Enjoy.
Me: Did I mention my tounge is black that’s probably not good right. It brushed off when I brushed my teeth – but since I gag, I couldn’t get it all.
J: I would assume that’s bad
Me: Yeah, that’s what I thought
J: Maybe you have the plague
Me: Due to lack of rat contact I am gonna have to say no
J: It was the fleas on rats. Don’t need rats for fleas
Me: Do need animals though – and the closest I’ve been to animals are yours so if I have the plague, so do you _And no, I don’t go out enough to get fleas from anywhere else
J: My cats don’t have fleas. And I’m not the one with the black tongue
Me: Shut up scabies girl
J: Not scabies. Chronic dermatitis
Me: That’s what you say
J: That’s what the biopsy said. And any rash, I blame on you anyway, bubble girl
Me: Hey- I only have chronic sinusitis, a pinched nerve (maybe) eczema and acid reflux (maybe) with a black tounge _That is necessarily bubble girl life. _(I’d stick my tougne out at you but it’s all black and gross. But not really in the front, where I could brush w/out throwing up)
J: You are bubble girl. And the sooner you face it the easier it will be to embrace. You could be an inspiration to bubble girls everywhere
Me: Not everyone can travel in a bubble
J: And you do it in style. See what I mean? You’re an inspiration
Me: I could be Pop U Lar
J: That’s right. Help the less fortuante. Less face it, who isn’t less fortunate than you.
Me: It’s my duty to be so wonderful, wonderful that’s me (yes I did a character change, but I forgot the next line)
J: It’s familiar but I can’t place it
Me: I quit.
J: Then you would be following the crowd. Why don’t you be original and stay
Me: No, I think quitting is the best of course when I quit they would continue to pay me but really I was just quitting the song game because my head hurts – (that’s the chronic sinusitis)
J: Bubble girl
Me: I blame the weather. And I would be allergic to the material of the bubble because, well, I’m me.
J: I’m sure other bubble people have expressed the same concerns seeing as how they too are allergic to everything. _Most of them however, can spell bologna
Me: I can spell pasta and that’s more important since I don’t eat bolongna (I sang it as I typed it)
J: And still spelled it wrong. *sigh*
Me: That’s because I sing it wrong
Me: I sing & type. Incorrectly but it’s still a talent
J: I’ll sign you up for stupid human tricks on Letterman
Me: I don’t think it’s stupid human tricks as much as stupid human
J: As long as you said it
Me: I admit it
J: And that’s the first step to recovery
Me: But is it the first step to spelling
J: The first step to spelling is learning the oscar mayer song
Me: I know the oscar meyer song, I just can’t spell the b word
J: If you knew the song, you’d be able to spell bologna AND mayer
Me: Actually the Mayer was a typo – that I can spell and have correctly at all other times – it’s the b word I have issues with
J: So then if I ever want to beat you in a spelling bee, I’d better hope the final word is the b word
Me: Lamest spelling bee ever _There’s lots of words I can’t spell – b word is only the beginning. _I can spell supercalafracalisticexpealadocious – who would know if I was wrong
J: Because somewhere there’s an accepted spelling of it.
Me: Doesn’t mary poppins spell it in the song. Or maybe I’m imaging it.
J: I don’t think so – in fact I’m pretty sure she doesn’t
Me: Yeah – don’t really care enough to find out either.
Me: You know this is going up right it’s very random
J: From black tongue to bologna? I can follow that
Me: From black tounge to bologna (yippe, only two tries) to supercalafraca(whatever)
I can’t keep my eyes open
Me: Want toothpicks
J: No. They’ll only break from the weight and poke my eyes out. Then I wouldn’t be able to watch bsg and oggle jamie bamber in all his lost-the-prosthetic-fat-suit hotness
Me: That would be bad – gross and just a big giant ick factor – thanks for the eye visual – you know how I love them gonna go vomit now. I go to the doctor in 10 minutes.
J: Yay. Bring me back a sammich b*tch
(I then went to the doctor, which is another story all together, just leave it that I need to find a new doctor)
Me: Are you going for food?
Me: Do you know where you are going? Can you bring me a sammich bitch
J: Probably just across the street if you wanna go for a ride again
Me: I can’t really leave but can you get me a two cheese hero (no swiss) with lettuce, oil/vinagar and salt.
This concludes last week random emailing.
Hope you enjoy. Any questions, ask your travel director.