Emailing is fun

So, Katherine, in response to my eye issue, commented:

Um, ‘kay, you need a new eye doctor. This guy’s just weird – are you sure he’s even an eye doctor? mwahahahaha. No, seriously, there should be no eyeball touching or usage of the word “bitch” during an exam. I’m pretty positive on this one. It will probably freak you out to know I’ve had Lasik surgery. And, with no valium, wheeeeee! I could see them cutting my retina and flipping it back and smell my eye burning when they lasered it.

I email-ed her

Why would you tell me that. I am sitting in my room watching a preview of a show coming to showtime about a foresnic doctor who is serial killer (Dexter, sundays at 10 on Showtime) and not having any problems. You mention lasik and flipping of the eye and I am screaming That’s just mean

As for the eyeball thing, he was testing for glaucoma and apparently it’s normal. I double checked with my sister on that. As for the bitch comment After I told him we were engaged, really, hardly anything would be taboo.
She wrote back

Ok, sounds more like flirting to me now.  Is he cute and single??

The only thing that grossed me out about the eye surgery (yep, gonna talk about it some more) was when they stuck these metal things beneath my upper and lower eyelids to keep them open.  Really skeeved me out.  But man, so worth it.  I can see, I can see!
My response

You are sooooooo mean.  If I have nightmares I am so gonna kick your ass.   And take all your chocolate as further punishment.

I mean isn’t she mean.   Why would she do that?  Why would she describe in detail the ickyness of eye stuff.

She’s so mean.  She doesn’t deserve chocolate.

(and yes, this is all in jest.  Katherine is a wonderful blog friend who I like very much and if she was needing chocolate to deal with her mother in law,  I would be happy to supply it)

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I have issues

I guess I should explain the possibly engaged line.

See I have eye issues.   I like eyes, in theory.   It’s one of the first things I notice on men.  But, don’t look at me if you are having eye problems

Red eyes, sty’s irritations, just go away.   I will automatically freak out.   Don’t be around me while putting in your contacts, don’t ask me if you have something in your eye. It will make me freak out.

If your eyes are red, and I see it, even for a second, my eyes will water and get red and I will freak out.

So, when I went to the eye doctor (not young, good looking or single btw) and they tried to put eye drops in, I flinched.   They finally got them in and put me in that head contraption to see behind my eyes with the bright light.  They come towards me, I move back.   They had to hold my head to stop me from moving.

They wanted to dilate my eyes   That’s a HELL NO.  One, I had an appt at 6 and 2, HELL NO.

So the drops they did get in, numbed my eyes and when the doctor was looking at them, (look up, look down, look straight) then told me my eyes were sticky I was a tad upset.   HE TOUCHED MY EYEBALL.  I knew he was doing it, I could tell,  HE TOUCHED MY EYEBALL  I said, in some cultures, we were engaged, cause  HE TOUCHED MY EYEBALL   That’s just gross.

So, since I have eye issues and a bizarre sense of humor, I think eyeball touching is close to engaged.

He also said, since my eyes were such a light color, they would dialate like a bitch.  I don’t know if that’s a compliment, but between THE EYEBALL TOUCHING and saying one of my body parts are “bitch” like I would say we are engaged.

Just don’t tell his wife.

I told you I had issues.