This is an email conversation between J and myself from September of last year. Apparently we have a fasination with Cheese.
We get a little wacky at work and need to amuse ourselves. This is one way to do it.
For those that may have read this before, hope you enjoy it. It’s from my other site that I am keeping active as I go through the archives to find entries that made me laugh or were just good.
It started out innocent enough. J emailed me about work crap we aren’t supposed to have to deal with.
(J is in Italic I’m normal print ..anything in parentheses – I added now.)
I’m starting to get REALLY tired of the crap phone calls of stuff I am not supposed to be handling.
Yep. Me to I am also starting to get really tired of lower level exams not doing the job they are supposed to and then pawning the work off on the 6 of us.
Or service just giving out our information w/o checking to see if maybe a different department is handling it.
Or service telling someone they aren’t at fault for an ax when the accident description is I don’t know. The guy on the bike just hit me and flipped over my car. (yes…this happens all the time)
Or “I got a ticket dismissed so I’m no longer at fault for the accident” (doesn’t matter that I rear ended them. The ticket for driving up his ass was dismissed)
Or he stopped short in heavy traffic and I had no choice but to hit me. Yeah I was tailgating but he shouldn’t have stopped short.
Or – I have a friend who’s a physicist at Rutgers and he can tell you by the angle of the dent in my car and pitch of the street that the pkd was waving to his father and not paying attention to traffic (and again…someone actually said this)
(Now begins the game J and I play. Who gets the new claim. The rules….it has to be really bizarre and involve Rhode Island. Don’t even ask why. Nothing against RI itself, just the insurance laws there) (Also…nothing against Canada. A friend of ours brother works border patrol between Canada and US and it cracked us up that there is an actual Border control We don’t know why it amused us, it just did)
And because attention starts the same way as attorney – transfer the file to the party of 6..
And because the physicist got his degree at a college in Rhode island, give it to J
The physicist didn’t get his degree in RI he sneezed one day and he was on the border of RI and the snot landed on the RI side that’s why it’s assigned to J
Unfortunately the snot was carrying a deadly virus. It landed on someone’s jacket and they flew to Canada the same day. The virus wiped out the entire population of Canada which resulted in the disbandment of the border patrol in buffalo
But one of the disbanded Canadian Buffalo Border Patrolmen had a brother who knew the physicist and had gone to college with him and the brother knew someone in the accident.
The brother had a pet guinea pig that he used to dress up on holidays. The guinea pig turned out to be the carrier of the disease. When the patrolman visited his brother he played with the guinea pig, caught the disease and then went to new England to vacation. When he was approaching the border of Rhode island he sneezed and the snot flew onto the guys jacket who went to Canada.
—-it’s a small world isn’t it? _Fortunately the cdc was able to trace the virus back to the guinea pig and was able to stop it from spreading outside of Canada. But now that Canada’s empty, England is looking for a new colony. They figured that they’d sneak up on the US. They’re not wearing the red coats this time… the realized they were too bright and we’d be able to see them coming. They’ll be coming through the border at buffalo because they heard the border patrol was disbanded.
But the doctor at the cdc who was able to trace the virus back to the guinea pig had a natural born immunity to the deadly virus and ended up donating enough blood to get a vaccine. The doctor’s uncle was living in the apartment complex that the guy who was snotted on great grandfather built and the great grandfather lived in RI
and that’s why I’d get the claim.
Except that Rhode island didn’t become a state until 5/29/1790 and the grandfather died on 5/27/1790 and was buried on 5/28/1790 so therefore it’s not a ri loss and would be assigned to someone in the other section still in NY (BTW…that is the real date for when RI became a state. Entertaining and educational. I learned you something today)
But the great grandfather (who everyone called grampy, even if they weren’t related to him, he was that type of guy) was buried in Wisconsin due to his love of cheese so it got transferred to a different region.
But then it turns out that nobody involved in the claim is insured with us.
So that means the skinny bitch (not her real name she’s actually a really nice person. Not a bitch at all, but when she’s a size2 and your not, she’s a bitch) gets it
Because she worked for a different insurance company. _But she when to high school with the patrolman so she can’t keep it because of conflict of interest
It ended up getting transferred to someone at a different insurance company. That someone was a bitter sarcastic grumpy lady.
Turns out the other person is your doppelganger. Everyone thought she was the evil one. Until……
V thinks we need to put down the crack pipe
He should talk
And he does often. (V has what we call Musical Tourettes. He breaks out into song loudly in the middle of the day. It’s very entertaining to us around him but not so much when we are all on the phone and he starts to sing a Carpenters song.)
(Then the game stopped and J was on the phone. The result of the phone call….)
That’s a good line. People with red lights are supposed to stop.
Attorney stated that green arrows are meant to move traffic and that people turning on them are still supposed to yield to oncoming traffic (Keep in mind. If you have a green turn arrow, the other direction should have a red)
I don’t want to drive with him. .
Apparently if you have green turn arrow, you’re suppose to yield the right of way to people running red lights.